February, 2008

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What passes for entertainment when you have a full house and the flu shot didn’t work.

Everybody’s sick. The kid has been banging on a drum and singing “Yellow Submarine” past the point where it’s cute.

“Hey, do you know any other Beatles songs?”

“We all live in a yellow submarine…”

“Wouldn’t you like to sing another song?”

[Apparently not.]

“Hey! How about Johnny Cash? Can you sing me some Johnny Cash?”

“Oh! Sure!”

[A moment of silence, then the drumming resumes, then in a much deeper voice:]

“We all live in a yellow submarine…”

Two conversations: Parenting a kid with Hollywood in his blood.

The first one was standard preschool stuff, but is necessary for context. While making out Valentines for all the kids in his class:

“OK, next is Joshua.”
“Joshua. I call him Dossy-wa.”
“You do? What does he think of that?”
“He doesn’t like it. He fights me to make me stop.”
“Well, don’t do that, dude! Would you like it if someone made fun of your name?”
[Deep thought]
“If he called me Wessey, then I would try to fight him to make him stop.”

The next day, in the car:

“I want all the kids in my school to come to my front door! Ethan can come to my front door, and Eliza can come to my front door, and Fiona can come to my front door…”
[This goes on until he starts having trouble thinking of names.]
“Can Joshua come to your front door?”
“Of COURSE Joshua can come to my front door!”
“Oh, so you guys are friends?”
“Of course we are!”
“I wasn’t sure, with all the funny names and fighting. So you guys are pretending?”
[With infinite patience]
“Yes. We’re like stuntmen.”